The Political Fiend

Throughout this election cycle, the GOP has offered us the worst mishmash motley crew of potential execs since we were served up with Bush Lite in late 1999: Huckabee obliterates the competition at the Iowa caucus, and slowly emerges as a knucklehead with limited Bible Belt appeal and an insane plan to do away with the Federal Income Tax. Giuliani, of course, tried to ride the wave of 9/11, and wiped out in a big sort of way. I have nothing to say about Mitt Romney, or his hair. Thank goodness for Fred Thompson. Sure he didn’t have any palpable platform, but hell, he could talk. That man dropped more old timey, grandpappy-esque sayings than your crazy uncle Zeke after two mason-jars of moonshine, and he did it with style.

McCain of course was dead in the water. Now he’s the nominee and just orates like he’s dead. So what’s he do? He brushes ex-Dem Lieberman off his shoulders and goes with the anti-Hillary. What’s the point of this piece? To give a sideways look at the last 8 months, and to say that only Hillary can save us now.

Pundits are coming out and lamenting that it was a misstep for Obama to bypass Hillary for the veep slot. Of course, they’re only saying this now that McCain has drafted Palin. Had McCain gone with a more traditional running mate (see: “White Dude”), no one would have come out and said ditching Hillary was a mistake. Rightness or wrongness aside, I doubt she would have been part of the conversation, and the necessity of her loyalty would likely have been limited to her role at the convention. The DNC would have enlisted Hillary to sew up any wounds left open by the primary season, and that would have been the end of it. But that’s not going to cut it anymore.

Hillary Clinton holds the future of the party in her hands, but maybe not for the reasons that any of us would prefer. It will come down to this. We need Hillary because she is a woman, and because she is exponentially more interesting than Joe Biden. Simply put, the voting public IS that stupid. McCain’s biggest PR problem? He’s boring. He has zero tonal inflection; so he picks his opposite. Obama’s biggest problems? Race and perceived inexperience. In theory Biden was a good pick: older white dude who’s been around the political block. The problem is that voters get their info from local network news; as a result, I’d be willing to bet that the average American now thinks they know more about Sarah Palin than they do about Joe Biden. By skipping Hillary, the Dems walked into the most well laid bear trap.  What strategist could have foreseen the Republicans playing the sexism and elitism cards?

How did Sarah Palin become bulletproof? Because of America’s twisted way of dealing with gender and race issues. You are a racist if you discuss the issue of race. You are a sexist if you discuss the issue of gender. While questioning Palin’s decision to go on the campaign trail in wake of her son’s birth was undoubtedly sexist, questioning her handling of her daughter’s pregnancy was decidedly not, as it is intimately intertwined with her stances on abortion and contraception. Biden, unfortunately, will not be able to touch this issue, because he’s a man, and the issue is bait for sexism spin. Joe Biden has the impossible task in the VP debates of simultaneously being both merciless and slight. If he makes a meek showing, he’ll be criticized for being patronizing. If he comes out swinging, I guarantee the RNC will spin things to make Palin out to be the victim of a bully. Either way, the allegations will fly, and people will buy it.

Where’s that leave us? Three letters. H.R.C. She needs to take the gloves off and wail on Sarah Palin, without mercy. For the good of the party, and the good of the country. Even if it means temporarily overshadowing the ticket itself. Many of my friends are getting nervous about the chances of a Democratic victory in November. But it’s only been a handful of days since the Palin shakeup. So relax, everyone. Atticus Finch had this great line in “To Kill a Mockingbird”, possibly one of the greatest, simplest, truest things a father could say to his children in the face of a crisis: “It’s not time to worry yet.” And it’s not, because Hillary has not yet begun to fight.

Photo by Matthew Reichbach used under a Creative Commons license.